


spill my guts

by wasted



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, POV Akaashi Keiji, Pining, akaashi has a crush, clenches fists they are so cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:27:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26114143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasted/pseuds/wasted
Summary: "I'm not any good with reading," Bokuto admits, moving on his knees to sit in front of Keiji. He picks up his text book, glaring down at the questions. "I always get distracted too easily.""I've found that I've been rather distracted lately as well."Bokuto looks up, his chin resting in his palm, watching Keiji with his golden eyes. "Really? With what?"Keiji purses his lips, just slightly.You, mostly,he thinks.Your smile, your legs, your hair, your voice, your eyes, your laugh, your hair, again, when it's dripping with rainwater and I want to run my hands through it."School," Keiji lies, unable to meet Bokuto's eyes.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 30
Kudos: 400





	spill my guts

Keiji watches Bokuto run his finger along the spines of the books in his bookcase, briefly pulling it away to examine if he'd collected any dust. His hair's damp from the rain pouring outside, white strands curling around his eyebrows instead of spiked upwards. His shirt is slick against his skin, and tight around his bicep as he rubs his fingers together. "You sure do read a lot," Bokuto comments, looking over his shoulder.

Keiji looks to the paper in his lap. "I guess," he muses, rewriting his name absent-mindedly with his pencil.

"I'm not any good with reading," Bokuto admits, moving on his knees to sit in front of Keiji. He picks up his text book, glaring down at the questions. "I always get distracted too easily."

"I've found that I've been rather distracted lately as well."

Bokuto looks up, his chin resting in his palm, watching Keiji with his golden eyes. "Really? With what?"

Keiji purses his lips, just slightly. _You, mostly,_ he thinks. _Your smile, your legs, your hair, your voice, your eyes, your laugh, your hair, again, when it's dripping with rainwater and I want to run my hands through it._

"School," Keiji lies, unable to meet Bokuto's eyes, so he studies his throat, exposed from his school shirt where the top few buttons are undone. His eyes settle on his pale collarbone, fascinated by the shadows cast along his skin. _What would happen if I kissed that spot?_ Keiji's heart beats rapidly in his chest; what was he thinking? Then, he finds the courage to meet Bokuto's gaze and narrows his eyes. "We need to finish our homework."

Bokuto slouches in defeat, dragging his hand over his face, but he nods in agreement. "Sorry. Am I distracting you?"

"No, you're just… difficult to ignore."

Bokuto blinks. 

"Just do your homework," Keiji says, much too quickly. "Let me know if you need any help with it."

Bokuto grumbles something under his breath, but he picks up his pencil and starts scribbling in his book.

Slowly, Keiji drags his eyes down to his own homework. He glares at the problems on the page in front of him, whilst trying desperately to ignore the problem that was the fact he was in love with his best friend.

* * *

Today, Keiji is the first one in the clubroom. Unbothered, he gets dressed, silently, quickly, and then sits on the bench typing random things into his notes app.

Konoha arrives next, greeting Keiji and dropping his bag on the floor by his locker. "Hey," he says after pulling his gym shirt on, "all of us third years are going to the arcade after practice. You wanna come with?"

Keiji pretends to consider it for a moment. "No, thank you."

"Bokuto is coming."

"And you think that makes me more inclined to join?" Keiji can't help but smile slightly. 

Konoha sits beside Keiji to tie his shoelaces with a sharp grin. "Well. Yeah."

Keiji gives Konoha the side eye. Just as other members begin filing into the clubroom, Keiji answers with a sigh, "I'll think about it."

* * *

  
Leaning against the wall outside the clubroom, Keiji accepts the fact he will have to wait a while for Bokuto to get dressed, because he always has to, because it's Bokuto. The other third years are still here, talking idly amongst themselves in the gym. Keiji eyes them just as they all turn to peer at him, and he can't help but frown. Konoha grins at him, and tips his head in a gesture inviting Keiji over. He walks over, and stands there fiddling with his hands behind his back as the others chatted.

"I'm gonna beat your ass in _Cosmic Master_ ," Komi declares, pointing a finger at Konoha.

"Those are fighting words, my friend," Konoha replies. "I just hope you're ready to accept defeat when I inevitably win. You know, like I always do."

"Hey hey hey! I hope you're _all_ ready to accept defeat when I destroy everyone on _Boogie Mania!_ " Bokuto yells, erupting into their small circle with his school bag hanging from his forehead. His sleeves are pushed back to his elbows, like they usually are, and Keiji has to command himself not to stare at Bokuto's forearms, like he usually does. "Now let's hurry up and go!"

Keiji opens his mouth to speak, but the others, mostly Konoha and Komi, begin rambling to each other about how many wins they have in some arcade game. He just stands there, aware of the fact that he hasn't actually agreed to join them, yet.

"Akaashi! You're coming with us, right?" Bokuto asks, beaming at him.

Keiji nods. Despite the autumn chill in the air, he's unable to ignore the warmth that spreads in his chest when Bokuto looks at him like that. "Yeah, but I might have to leave early."

"That's okay!"

After an hour of playing arcade games, and explaining to Bokuto that no, he is not cheating, he is just good at the game, Keiji is ready to go home. He's used to spending time with Bokuto, but interacting with so many people at once is beginning to drain him. Plus, he isn't sure about whether the others have homework to complete, but he knows he has a few sheets in his bag and several already on his desk at home. He prefers not to let them pile up like this.

"I'm gonna head home," Keiji announces to his upperclassmen crowded around a car racing game. "I've got homework."

"Such a dutiful student," Komi sings, glancing up from the winding road on the screen to smile at Keiji. "See you on Monday, then."

Keiji hums in agreement, readjusting his grip on his school bag.

"I'll come too!" Bokuto decides, grabbing his bag from the floor and throwing it over his shoulder.

"It's okay, Bokuto-san. It's still early; you should stay."

"Nah, I'm beat," says Bokuto, waving a hand dismissively. "Let's go, yeah? See you guys later."

The sun had set hours ago, leaving the night sky a milky dark blue, dense clouds gathering overhead and shielding the stars from sight. Keiji watches the sky as they walk, humming every so often to alert Bokuto that he's still listening.

"Jeez, I'm talking too much." Bokuto reflects, all of a sudden. He clamps his hands over his mouth.

"No, you're not. Besides," Keiji replies, "I like hearing you talk."

"Oh," says Bokuto, quietly, unlike him. "That's good."

"Yeah," Keiji agrees, disliking how fast his heart is beating suddenly. Desperately wanting to fill this silence, he begins, "It's meant to snow soon."

"Really?" Bokuto wheezes, his smile lighting up his whole face. "We'll have to make snow angels! And go sledding. And build snowmen, maybe."

Keiji sighs, but nods. "Absolutely."

"The snow better be worth it. It's so cold," Bokuto moans. For emphasis, he huffs out some air, and it swirls around in the breeze biting at their cheeks. Keiji's eyes drift to his lips, slightly chapped and chewed, and he has to tear them away before it becomes too obvious.

"You should've brought a scarf, or something."

"It wasn't cold this morning!" Bokuto argues.

"You have the weather app, don't you?"

"Whatever," Bokuto says, turning away from Keiji with a pout.

Keiji sighs, noting the rattling of Bokuto's lower lip and the stiffness of his arms. "Here," he says, pulling off one of his gloves and handing it to him.

"Thanks, Akaashi!" Bokuto exclaims, scrambling to put it on. He stops. "It's… a little big."

Keiji regards Bokuto with a bemused expression, staring at the crease in his eyebrows. "So it is."

Gasping, Bokuto held out his bare right hand. "Akaashi! Do you have bigger hands than me?"

They're under a streetlight, Bokuto expectantly holding out his palm. Keiji drags his hand up to meet Bokuto's. His palm is surprisingly warm against Keiji's own freezing one. He wants so desperately to apply a little more pressure, to curl his fingers around Bokuto's and find out if their hands will fit together just as perfectly as he thinks they will. _Well, isn't this technically holding hands?_ It's a little poetic that Bokuto's hands are so warm, that he is always just a walking bundle of heat, whilst Keiji seems to have an almost constant chill in his bones - almost like the two were made for each other.

Bokuto marvels at their hands flattened against each other, before scoffing. Keiji's fingers just so slightly extend past Bokuto's.

"I guess I do have bigger hands," Keiji comments, a small smile playing at his lips.

Scowling, Bokuto drops his hand to his side. "You win."

"It's not really a competition, Bokuto-san."

"Yeah," Bokuto agrees, and Keiji pretends not to hear the "you still win, though," muttered under his breath.

"You _are _taller than me," Keiji reminds him.__

____

A crooked grin takes over Bokuto's face, as he straightens and walks on his toes, so he can easily rest his elbow on Keiji's shoulder. "Yeah, I am," he teases. Keiji is rolling his eyes as he shrugs his arm off, failing to convince himself he didn't enjoy the short contact that much.

____

They continue walking, Bokuto kicking along a small rock as he complains about his math class. Keiji watches Bokuto out the corner of his eye, having mastered the art of admiring his best friend without him knowing so (or tripping) months ago, when he had finally realised his stupid crush. It's making him feel dizzy, witnessing how beautiful Bokuto is. In the moonlight, he gleams. Keiji studies his profile, the length of his forehead, the curve of his nose and the steady set of his jaw. His eyes eventually settle, once again, on Bokuto's lips. _He needs to use more chapstick,_ Keiji thinks, and then, shocking himself: _I want to kiss him._

____

_Stop it_ , he scolds. _He's just your best friend. He doesn't-_

____

Somehow, they've fallen into a moment of silence, and Keiji fears that he'd just completely ignored one of Bokuto's questions. But no, Bokuto simply glares down at his feet as he walks.

____

Keiji purses his lips. "Bo-"

____

"What about _this_ hand?" Bokuto jabbers, wiggling his gloveless fingers in front of Keiji's face. 

____

"Yes," he says, slowly, "what about it, Bokuto-san?"

____

"It's... cold."

____

"Put it in your pocket," Keiji instructs. When Bokuto doesn't do so, Keiji stares at him. "I'm not giving you my other glove."

____

Bokuto chuckles. "No, give me your hand."

____

"What?"

____

"Your hand!" Bokuto exclaims. He clutches Keiji's wrist, pulling it from his pocket and gripping Keiji's bare hand with his own. He grins at Keiji watching him, expressionless. "They'll both be warm, now."

____

Keiji glances down at their entwined hands. His heart is thudding in his chest, his blood is rushing in his ears, because Bokuto is _holding his hand._ Keiji judges from the warmth across his face that he must wear an unmistakable blush. He buries his chin into his jacket's collar.

____

"I suppose so," he manages to say calmly, allowing Bokuto to swing their arms as they walk.

____

_We're holding hands. He's holding my hand._

____

_… Friends don't do that, do they?  
_

____

Keiji decides he isn't sure. He hasn't had many friends before, and none like Bokuto. But he also reminds himself that Bokuto often does things without considering the implications or consequences. What if this is one of those things? Just an impulse he acted on, simply because his hand was cold?

____

Or is he just overthinking everything?

____

Still holding hands, of course they are, Keiji never wants to let go, they reach Bokuto's street which is usually where they say goodbye on their walks home.

____

Keiji licks his lips, reluctantly removing his hand from Bokuto's and shoving it back in his pocket. He flexes it experimentally, savouring how it seems to burn. Butterflies flutter in his stomach, his mind still a little giddy at the thought that there was a small chance that Bokuto might… possibly… return his feelings?

____

"My parents aren't home," Keiji blurts, before he can stop himself. 

____

Bokuto pumps his fists in the air, wooping. "Does that mean I can come over?"

____

"I thought you were tired?" Keiji asks… _And I also have homework, but whatever._

____

"I was! But this walk has made me feel _invigorated_!" 

____

Keiji inhales the icy air, then nods. "Sure, you can come over. But I'm going to be doing my homework first."

____

"You know you've got all weekend, right? But fine! I won't distract you! I promise."

____

"We'll see," Keiji mumbles, following behind Bokuto as he marches to Keiji's street.

____

When they enter Keiji's house, they peel off their jackets and shoes. Bokuto stands at the door in the dark, until Keiji flicks on the light. Cautiously, he tilts his head at Keiji. They’re standing awfully close.

____

"Your parents aren't home a lot," Bokuto states.

____

Keiji freezes, holding Bokuto's warm gaze. "Yeah. They're busy people."

____

"Doesn't that bother you?"

____

Keiji hopes his face is blank. "I'm used to it."

____

They settle in Keiji's bedroom. He gathers some blankets from his cupboards because, just his luck, his window has been open all day and it's exceptionally freezing in his room.

____

"You can choose a movie," says Keiji. 

____

Bokuto drops on the floor with the blankets, going through Keiji's stack of films.

____

Keiji sits at his desk and promptly starts at the first sheet of homework there. He can't deny it, he's excited, practically buzzing inside, and wishes to get his homework out of the way as soon as possible. He's… not quite sure what he's excited for. He dares to look over his shoulder at Bokuto huddled with a pile of DVDs in his lap, squinting as he looks over the pictures and titles. He strokes his bottom lip as he decides, and it's such a cute gesture that Keiji has to look away to hide his smile.

____

He just can't think of anyone else he'd rather be with right now.

____

A short while later, Keiji joins Bokuto on the floor by his bed, not mentioning how he still has the work in his bag to complete. 

____

"'Kaashi! That was so quick!" exclaims Bokuto, adjusting the laptop on Keiji's bed. He'd already set up the movie, and a grainy scene began to play on the screen: it was one of Keiji's older films, a corny zombie one.

____

"I'd already started some of it the other day," Keiji explains, before glancing at his friend. "You're not going to get scared watching this, are you?"

____

"Of course not!" Bokuto gasps, wounded. 

____

"I'm just making sure," Keiji murmurs, gathering one of the blankets and wrapping it around his shoulders.

____

"Hey, you're meant to share," Bokuto says, grabbing the corner and enveloping them both in the blanket. Bokuto leans in, and Keiji notes that their knees are touching. If Keiji wanted to, if he just leaned in, their shoulders would touch, too. He doesn’t feel that cold anymore.

____

Bokuto yawns.

____

"We'll just watch one movie," Keiji declares, finally turning his attention to the laptop.

____

"What? But I'm not tired," Bokuto whines, seeming to melt against Keiji.

____

"Maybe _I_ am," says Keiji, glancing down at how Bokuto's forehead is pressed against his elbow. His free hand twitches: he imagines himself threading his fingers through Bokuto's hair.

____

Suddenly straightening, Bokuto peers at Keiji closely.

____

"Akaashi! Do you wanna sleep? I can go home right now, it's fine. You should have told me so!"

____

"It's alright, Bokuto-san. We can finish this one."

____

Bokuto nods. "Okay," he smiles, "just making sure."

____

* * *

____

Hours after the movie had finished and Bokuto had gone home, Keiji lay huddled in his blankets, staring at his ceiling.

____

He thinks, logically, that both he and Bokuto would benefit if Keiji was just honest about his feelings. If he confessed, and Bokuto accepted… well, he figures they'd both be happy in that situation. They could be together and spend even more time together and Keiji could actually kiss him and - he's getting carried away. 

____

And if Bokuto rejected his feelings, then they'd move on, and Keiji would be able to sleep knowing he got his crush off his chest, at least. He'd been dealing with it ever since he'd set eyes on the boy, when he'd visited Fukurodani and enrolled just on the basis that there was a hot guy there. _It was love at first spike,_ Keiji likes to joke, not that he'd ever say that outloud to Bokuto.

____

But… Keiji is unable to deny the doubts besieging his mind. What if Bokuto hated him afterwards? What if it ruined their friendship? What if Bokuto never spoke to him again?

____

No. 

____

Bokuto is his best friend: if Keiji's feelings aren't reciprocated, he's sure it wouldn't come between them. Keiji would move on, eventually. They'd remain as best friends, with Bokuto as his most important person, and, hopefully, Keiji as Bokuto's.

____

So. Keiji is going to confess. He lets out a shaky breath, his hands fidgeting over his stomach. 

____

He doesn't get much sleep that night.

____

* * *

____

They're at practice, and Keiji hasn't confessed yet, because it needs to be at the right place and with the right timing, of course. 

____

When Keiji enters the gym from the clubroom, Komi and Konoha are gathered by the entrance, peeking around the corner and failing at being inconspicuous.

____

"Where's Bokuto-san? Is he going to be late again?" Keiji asks, coming to stand by the two. They spin around in shock. Strangely, Konoha won't look him in the eyes.

____

"Keep it down!" Komi whispers, and then he ushers Keiji closer to the door. "Look! Bokuto's talking to a girl!"

____

Keiji's stomach plummets. He peers around the corner, and sure enough, Bokuto is standing there in front of a short girl. She's cute, Keiji admits, and she's holding something, _a letter?,_ in her hands.

____

He feels sick. 

____

The girl ducks her head as she offers Bokuto the letter; he takes it, and she scurries away behind the corner. Promptly, Komi and Keiji duck their heads back into the gym.

____

Bokuto bursts in with the letter in his hands, dazed, starry eyed, and grinning lazily. "Kitamura Takara just confessed to me!" He gushes, presenting the letter to the three of them.

____

"Who's that?" Konoha asks.

____

"I had no idea! But she said she's seen me playing volleyball and thinks I'm cool!" Bokuto explains, huffing out his chest proudly.

____

"That's great news, Bokuto-san." Keiji manages, whilst squeezing his thumb behind his back. His throat feels tight and too dry and he feels everyone's eyes on him and all he can do is just stand there, watching Bokuto.

____

"I know, right!" Bokuto beams, giving him a thumbs up.

____

During practise, it's obvious Keiji is distracted. If Bokuto notices, he doesn't mention it, only apologising when Keiji fumbles a throw.

____

"My bad! I could have jumped higher there," says Bokuto, patting Keiji's shoulder.

____

"No," Keiji pants, flicking his hair from his forehead, "that was my fault. Sorry. I'll do better next time."

____

Bokuto only nods, offering Keiji a bright smile.

____

As soon as the coach blows his whistle and signals for everyone to get changed, Keiji rushes to the clubroom and is ready to leave before Bokuto has even taken his shirt off.

____

"Gimme a sec, Akaashi! It's not my fault you're so speedy getting dressed!"

____

"No worries, Bokuto-san." Keiji says, already walking outside. "I have to be home early today. Bye. See you tomorrow."

____

" _Whaaat?_ " Bokuto squawks, tripping as he pulls up his sweatpants. "Oh, okay! Bye!"

____

Keiji shoves his fists in his pockets as he trudges home, regarding each passerby with disinterest. He just needs to be alone, and maybe some sleep, he thinks. Perhaps if he's lucky, he'll sleep forever.

____

A small sigh escapes his lips.

____

He'd just missed his chance! If only he'd said something earlier… No, maybe this was a blessing. Maybe it was better he didn't say anything about his feelings for Bokuto, about how his heart swells when he hears his laugh, about how no matter how bad his day is, Keiji appreciates that Bokuto can always make him smile. How when Bokuto looks at him, it makes him feel like he's the only person in the whole world.

____

If Bokuto actually likes this girl back, Keiji will just have to be happy for him. It's decided.

____

* * *

____

Keiji can appreciate a good sunrise, and today, it's truly beautiful. The sky is awash with golden and pink hues, with milky clouds drifting across the horizon in thin wisps. Frost rests on all the greenery, coating everything he sees with a silvery sparkle. The sun is a meek, yellow circle behind the clouds. He takes a picture as he walks, then stares down at it on his phone. It doesn't do it any justice.

____

Bokuto is waiting at the end of his street, slouched against a tree on the grass and munching on a piece of toast.

____

"Akaashi!" He greets, using his whole arm to wave.

____

Bokuto is a lot like the sun, Keiji proposes mentally. _Bright, blinding, brilliant._

____

_God. Why don't you write poetry about him already?_

____

"Good morning. Wow. Look at your tie…" Keiji grimaces at the fabric sloppily wrapped around his neck.

____

Through a mouth full of food, Bokuto chirps, "do it for me, would ya?"

____

Keiji sighs and steps closer. Frowning, he begins to fiddle with the tie. When his fingers brush against Bokuto's chin, he bites the inside of his cheek, cherishing the tingles that still run up his wrist seconds after the contact is made.

____

"Jeez, are you trying to kill me?" Bokuto whines, yanking at the tie as Keiji adjusts it.

____

"Yes."

____

"That's too tight, I can't breathe!" Bokuto moans, dramatically choking. 

____

"Do it yourself, then," Keiji murmurs, whilst loosening the tie. He pats it against Bokuto's shirt then steps back.

____

Bokuto whistles as he walks, some pop song he probably heard on the radio, because that's all he listens to. 

____

"You alright?" Bokuto asks, suddenly.

____

Keiji doesn't think about the confession Bokuto got yesterday, he doesn't. Blinking slowly, he offers Bokuto a small smile. "Of course."

____

At school, Keiji isn't sure how he can or whether he should bring up the confession yesterday, but he wants to. They're in Bokuto's classroom at lunch. Keiji is already used to the looks he gets for being a second year student here.

____

"What's up with you?" Bokuto asks softly as they sit down. He's leaning over his desk onto Keiji's, which they'd pushed together.

____

Keiji frowns.

____

"You're quieter than usual."

____

"I'm always quiet, aren't I?"

____

"Yeah, but not _this_ quiet. And not around _me_ ," Bokuto continues, resting his cheek in his palm. "If I did something wrong, then I'm sorry."

____

Guilt settles in Keiji's chest as a heavy weight. "You haven't done anything, Bokuto-san. I'm just tired."

____

Bokuto's eyes flutter shut as he sags, and Keiji's heart stammers at how close his face is and how long his eyelashes are. "Thank god!" he breathes, throwing himself back on his chair. "I was so worried! I even made you onigiri 'cause I thought you hated me."

____

"You did?"

____

Bokuto nods, and he retrieves his bento from his bag. "See?" he says, opening it and presenting the food to Keiji.

____

"Thank you, Bokuto-san. You didn't have to do this."

____

"Whatever," Bokuto grins. "You know I make it the best anyway!"

____

In exchange, Keiji gives Bokuto his lunch for that day, and he doesn't complain.

____

"Now, can you help me with this?" Bokuto asks, and Keiji's heart stops as he reaches into his bag and pulls out a yellow envelope.

____

"You've read it?"

____

"Yeah."

____

Keiji scans it quickly. He pauses. "Do you like her back?"

____

Bokuto grips his hair, slouched over on his desk. "I dunno! Maybe. I dunno."

____

"It says here to call her."

____

"I know."

____

"Are you going to call her?"

____

"Man, I don't know. You're smart, Akaashi, so help me! What do you think I should do?"

____

"Only you can know how you feel about someone," Keiji answers. "Do you… Hm. Can you imagine yourself dating her?"

____

Bokuto rubs a finger against his chin as he thinks, staring up at the ceiling. 

____

_Is it selfish if I want you to say no?_

____

"Not sure," Bokuto mumbles.

____

"Maybe your uncertainty answers the question."

____

"Eh?"

____

"Well, I don't know." Keiji says, dragging his eyes away from Bokuto's. He glares at the table as he runs his finger nail along the doodle of a smiley face. "If you liked her, you would know, right? It wouldn't be so confusing. It would be obvious. Easy."

____

"I guess," Bokuto considers after a moment. 

____

_At least, knowing is easy for me. It hurts so good just to look at you._

____

* * *

____

A week passes: Bokuto doesn't mention the confession again, and neither does Keiji.

____

It's freezing as they walk home; it isn't snowing now, but there had been a brief period in the afternoon where a light snowfall had begun. Much to Keiji's very well hidden dismay, Bokuto has his own pair of gloves, and even a scarf, today. He doesn't know where to put his hands.

____

There's a park to the side of them as they walk, an empty park, albeit, with each apparatus covered with the early drops of snow. The grass is the same, coated with a thin layer of white. The path they're on is above the park on a slope, and Keiji surveys the silent scene with mild interest.

____

Bokuto stops in front of Keiji, puffing out his chest. He's facing the park.

____

"We're gonna slide down this." Bokuto affirms, nodding at the slope of grass.

____

"We are?" Keiji asks, turning to regard the slope. Bokuto nods again. Keiji thinks he must be attracted to stupid, because this is a terrible idea, but Bokuto's smile is so endearing that he can't say no. "Ah. Of course we are."

____

Bokuto takes Keiji by the wrist and drags him onto the grass, his ankles immediately dampening from the grass tickling him. He drops his bag to the floor with a thud, and Keiji does the same.

____

"Maybe if I'm lucky I'll break my neck on the way down," Keiji muses, examining their path.

____

"Akaashi!" Bokuto gasps. "Man, you're so grim!" Then, he grabs Keiji's hand, and _we're holding hands again_ , and he throws them both down the hill, landing awkwardly on their backs.

____

They slowly slide down to the bottom.

____

Keiji lays back against the hill. "Well." He says. "Now my ass is just cold and wet."

____

Bokuto lies back the same, resting his arms behind his neck. "Yeah... That, um, wasn't worth it."

____

"At all."

____

Keiji looks across at Bokuto, who's already watching him. Keiji tries not to grin. He can't help it - they burst into laughter, Keiji clutching his stomach as Bokuto howls.

____

"I'm sorry, Akaashi, I really thought that was gonna be so much cooler!"

____

"It was pretty cool. I enjoyed your little scream on the way down. Were you scared?"

____

"Absolutely not!"

____

Keiji chuckles, surprisingly not bothered by the cold dampness seeping into his clothes. He looks up at the stars, threading his hands together over his stomach. He’s always loved the stars: he has several albums of pictures in the phone, along with the sunrise albums. They’re tantalizingly beautiful, always are.

____

"Akaashi," Bokuto says.

____

"Hm?"

____

"I've thought about it. I don't like Kitamura. I know that now."

____

Keiji frowns: that's the girl who had confessed to Bokuto last week. "Okay," he mumbles.

____

An awkward beat passes, and Keiji hears Bokuto shuffling beside him.

____

"I know that I like you, though." Bokuto says, very clearly beside Keiji's face. "You're cool, and I like spending time with you more than anyone else, and you're always patient with me even though I know I'm a lot, and you always listen to what I have to say and - and you're also like, really pretty."

____

Keiji sucks in a sharp breath, unable to look away from the twinkling sky above him. _Did I hear all that right?_ His heart is beating wildly against his chest. He clenches his fists in the wet grass, then opens them. "You… what?"

____

Bokuto groans, then flops onto his back: "That is _not_ what you say when someone confesses!"

____

Keiji props himself up on his elbows, turning to meet Bokuto's eyes. Even in the dark, they seem like they're shining to Keiji, beautiful and earnest. "You like me?"

____

Bokuto exhales softly. "God, I - um. I think I have to go. Right now."

____

Keiji grasps his wrist, dragging it to the ground between them. His tongue is too heavy, too dry to speak, but he swallows his fear and wets his lips. "No, I - I like you too, Bokuto-san," he admits.

____

Faintly, Keiji sees Bokuto's eyes widen. "You do?" he whispers, his voice low. Lazily, his lips break into a smile. The butterflies in Keiji's stomach begin to dance. "Like, like like me?"

____

"What?" Keiji questions, smiling lazily as well. "Yes. I like like you."

____

"Right," Bokuto says, and he's nodding, and Keiji, greedy, can't tear his eyes away from him.

____

Letting out a shaky breath, Keiji looks down at his gloved fingers, resting against Bokuto's wrist. "I've felt this way for a while now," he confesses plainly. Easily. "I think about you a lot. Like, almost everyday: you're the last thing I think about before I go to sleep and the first thing after I wake up." A great weight immediately unlodges itself in his chest, and relief bubbles out of his throat as a ragged exhale. Sheepishly, Keiji dares to look up, to find Bokuto still smiling at him. _Was that too much?_

____

" _Almost_ everyday? I basically can't get you out of my head, ever," Bokuto laughs. Now, he is lying back down in the snow, keeping his eyes on Keiji.

____

"It's not a competition," Keiji reminds him, but he's laughing too. "But, you win, I suppose."

____

"I kinda took my time figuring things out, huh?" Bokuto sighs. When Keiji doesn't say anything, he gnaws on his bottom lip. "I was doing everything I could to spend time with you without even questioning if it was because I wanted, like, something _more._ "

____

Keiji is propped up on his elbow, turned on his side. "At least you _said_ something. I think I would have taken my feelings to my grave."

____

Grinning, Bokuto leans his head forward. Keiji's looking down at him through his eyelashes, their breaths swirling in the icy air.

____

“What is it?” Keiji whispers.

____

"You make my heart beat so fast I think I might die," Bokuto gushes, his cheeks warming to a rosy pink.

____

Slyly, Keiji can’t stop himself from smirking. "I doubt you're going to die."

____

"You're killing me!"

____

"Shut up," Keiji murmurs, and - _screw it,_ he's been waiting for this for over a year - he kisses him. Bokuto's nose is freezing against his cheek; his lips are warm, a little dry, but pleasantly soft against his own. It’s abrupt, sure, but Keiji’s heart is beating wildly nonetheless. He pulls away, eyes half-lidded as he tilts his head at Bokuto.

____

Before he knows it, Bokuto's hand is against his neck, his thumb gently caressing his jaw, and he’s pulled down to meet his lips again. Bokuto deepens the kiss; his tongue runs along Keiji's bottom lip, opening his mouth more. Despite the cold, it sends shivers down Keiji's spine. He’s dreamed of this, but he doesn’t think anything will beat the real thing, with the taste of Bokuto’s favourite soda in his mouth. Keiji smiles against his lips as he leans back.

____

"We're going to get frostbite," he says. He wants to brush his fingers along Bokuto's red cheeks. And he can, so he does.

____

Mirth swirls in Bokuto's eyes. "Totally worth it," he mumbles, his thumb still pressed against Keiji's jaw.

____

Keiji agrees. _Totally._

____

**Author's Note:**

> hello bokuaka nation... erm this was basically just an excuse to put a bunch of headcanons somewhere. thank u for reading !! :3
> 
> inspired by [this](https://remiarty.tumblr.com/post/161032339957/finally-finished-with-this-its-pure-cheese-way)


End file.
